Lost and Lonely
by DarkKitten666
Summary: After the move to Clover, Ace is even more lost than before. AcexAlice oneshot.


**This is a oneshot that randomly popped into my head last night when I was getting ready for bed and started to look through my book "Alice in the Country of Clover: Cheshire Cat Waltz" Volume 2 and... so yeah. Hope you like it.**

I have never seen Ace like this. He seemed to disconnected, so melancholy, so… so…. so not Ace. The Ace I knew was always flamboyant. He always seemed to be smiling and laughing at anything and everything. He would get lost and shrug it off like it was nothing. Ace was Ace, the laughing maniacal knight. Although he hated his job he always did it with a smile which scared me when he could slaughter so many people with one swipe of his blade… but that was what life was like here in Wonderland. Only the strong survive. Only those willing to kill can survive.

No, that is wrong. Julius survives. Julius doesn't kill. Julius helps. Julius gives new life to the clocks. Julius is the only exception. The clockmaker is considered the mortician of Wonderland. The one with the dirtiest job. The job nobody would ever want. The job people hated, and because they hated the job they also hated the man. The man tasked to do the job, Julius Monrey.

What an odd friendship between Ace, the murderous knight, and Julius, the mortician. I haven't the fantast idea how it could have come to be and yet it is. Ace the jolly, laughing, smiling idiot and Julius the mortician with a cloud of despair and negativity floating above his head. Complete opposites. Ace with his bright red garb reflected his bright nature and Julius with his dark clothes and dank personality. Ace loved to camp where Julius didn't like to go outside at all. Julius's long, flowing, blue hair and Ace with his short and unkept brunette hair. Julius rarely smiled and Ace rarely doesn't smile. Like two opposites.

But now Julius is gone. He isn't dead but he just… disappeared. They tell me the land moved. Nightmare understood how I couldn't understand but Gray… Gray can't read minds like Nightmare can I guess. But still… How do buildings just disappear? Nightmare offered that I could stay at the Clover tower. I was reluctant to agree. Not only would I not see Julius but Ace would not have any reason to go there, there was no Julius. They were the two men I knew the best, but they were also the two that I could never fully understand.

"Thinking about Julius isn't going to bring him back." Nightmare sighed, looking up at me from his work.

"I know that…." I whispered quietly. "But I…"

"Ace is doing his job now like he is supposed to." Gray said, entering the room with a new stack of papers. Nightmare groaned in protest. "And I hope he doesn't try to come here again." I paused to remember the last time he had come here. The last time I had seen him truly smile.

"_Hey ya Alice~" Ace chimed. A large grin plastered on his face._

"_Ace!" I called, spinning around to find the knight._

"_Ace." Gray growled next to me. The knight smiled and pulled his sword, slashing at Gray. Fortunately he was able to block the attack with his own weapons. "You idiot! Why do we always have to go through this?!" He yelled angrily, defending himself with his knives as Ace took several swings at him._

"_Ace! What are you doing here?!" I screech._

"_Hm? Oh!" The fighting stopped if only for a moment. "I was looking for you. I can't seem to find the clock tower anywhere." He chuckled before turning to swing at Gray again._

"_Ace… there is no more clock tower. This is the land of Clover… the clock tower doesn't exist here…" I mutter quietly. Although I was quiet, Ace heard and the fighting stopped. The smile on his face vanished and he looked at me, hurt by my words._

"_What…?" He asked, confused._

"_The clock tower. It's gone. I woke up one morning and… and I wasn't in my room anymore. The clock tower, Julius… it's all gone." I said, tears pooling up in my eyes._

"_Julius is gone..." he said darkly. "So… I got these clocks for no reason!" he laughed a cold and maniacal laugh. It wasn't him and it actually scared me. And he just kept laughing._

"_Perhaps it would be best if you left, knight." Gray said, sheathing his knives._

"_Probably…" He muttered before turning. "See you around, Alice." and with that, he was gone._

"Gray, you're killing me here. This is too much work for one man." Nightmare whined, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Well, Lord Nightmare, if you would have done it before when it needed to be done it wouldn't have built up to this." Gray sighed angrily.

"I… I need some air." I said before standing up. The two looked at me.

"Are you sure that would be a wise idea? The land is still unstable and you could easily get lost." Nightmare stated. "Maybe Gray should go with you."

"But then you wouldn't get your work done." I chuckled snidely.

"If it was just for some air I doubt I would be gone long enough for him to-"

"Gray, I think I can handle a short walk." I sighed. "I am an adult and am fully capable of being on my own."

"Well… if you're sure…" his voice trailed off.

"Yes, I'm sure. I will be back soon. I promise."

~x~x~x~

Ace had really changed since the move. Every time I saw him he seemed even more cold and distant than he did the time before. Every smile seemed as if it were forced. His laughs were veiled with a murderous intent that made me shiver. The look in his red eyes was gone; glazed over and hidden behind a layer of the unknown. He was lost. Well… he was always lost but now he was even more so. I would always find him in the strange forest with the doors. He was always lost there or maybe he was waiting for something. I didn't know. I just knew he was there.

I blinked and found myself in the forest of doors. I didn't mean to walk there. My legs just carried me there. Carried me to the freakish doors that called out to me. Wanted me to open them, to enter them. They scared me, but I came here in with hopes, or at least that's what I assume that my legs are telling me when I walk here. Hopes to see Ace, the real Ace. The bright, smiling Ace.

"Alice," a voice said, derailing my train of thought. "What are you doing getting lost again?"

"Ace," I breathed, spinning around to see him. There was no smile on his lips. His eyes were still not the bright red that matched his jacket. This was not Ace. My heart sank as I looked at him.

"Do you come here for the same reason I do?" He asked, his cold gaze burning into my eyes.

"Why do you come here Ace…?" my voice was quiet and hoarse.

"Hm? Don't you know?" He asked. He then laughed that horrible laugh that sent shivers down my spine. "These doors, when opened, can lead you to the place you most want to go."

"The… place I most want to… to go…?" Memories of my sister filled my mind. Home. Was that where I wanted to go? Or maybe… Julius?

"Unfortunately I cannot open the door." He sighed angrily. "It's against the rules." He hissed. The rules. He hated them. He did everything in his power to not follow them… but rules were rules and he followed them just like everybody else.

"Ace… I-"

"Where would you go Alice?" He asked, grabbing my arms and pushing my back against a tree. "Where do you think the doors would take you?"

"A-Ace! Let me go!" I cried out. He didn't move. His grip tightened.

"Would you go to be with Julius? Did you love Julius? You lived with him for so long. Why would you stay with the mortician if you didn't love him?" he questioned.

"Ace! I-I didn't love Julius!" I yelled, trying to push him away. It was true, I did not love Julius. He was only a friend in my eyes, a kind and compassionate friend but still just a friend. He pursed his lips and his grip faltered. I quickly pulled free from him and darted away.

"Alice! Wait!" He called out. I heard his footfalls behind me. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't see where I was going until it was too late. I was falling. The land beneath my feet had given out and I was falling. I'm going to die.

"Alice!" Ace's voice rang out. I felt his hand grasp mine. I looked up to see him holding my hand, a look of fear painted on his face. He pulled me up from the chasm and pulled me into an embrace. "Alice…" He whispered under his breath. My heart was pounding in my ears. First, Ace pushed me and held me against a tree, then I almost fell to my death, and now I was in his arms. It was funny how quickly things could change, but it got even more weird when the man, the strong man that was holding me in his arms, began to cry. I could feel his tears seeping through the fabric of my dress.

"A-Ace…?" I mumble, hoping to get an answer.

"I… I can't take it anymore." He said. "this… The land of Clover… I… I don't have anybody…" His arms squeezed me to his body tighter. "I… I feel so lonely. Normally when the land moves I can shut everything out. I do shut everything out and I do my job but I…. I can't do it. I can't shut you out Alice. I love you." His words came as a shock to me. My breath became caught in my throat. Did he just say he loved me?

"Ace?" I ask again.

"Whenever I get lost I could eventually find Julius. But now Julius is gone and I feel so lost. Then I see you and I… I… I just can't take it. I feel so alone." He lifted his head from my shoulder. I looked into his eyes. They were no longer glazed over. They were the bright red eyes I knew and loved.

"Ace," I said once more.

"I know you loved Julius but… is there enough room for me? Can you love me too?" He asked looking into my eyes.

"Ace… Shut up for just one minute so I can talk!" I yelled, slapping him. He took a step back and held his cheek but he closed his mouth and nodded.

"Ace… I didn't love Julius. I only lived with him because of YOU. I lived with Julius so I could see YOU. Ace, I love YOU." I said. I did love him, his warm smile and perky attitude of life. No matter how lost we got he could laugh it off. I loved that about him. He was strong, he was kind, he protected me. I loved him.

"Y-you love me…? N-not Julius?" He asked.

"Yes Ace. I love you, not Julius." I replied. Suddenly he was hugging me again. A genuine smile graced his lips as he looked into my eyes.

"Please don't ever leave me alone again…" He whispered before brushing his lips against mine. I wanted this moment to last. I wished it couldn't stop. Ace was Ace again. The Ace that I loved. The Ace that was happy and care free. Ace was my Ace.

**Tell me what you think, please and thank you.**


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